Advertising 101 - - Ways of separating you from your money and/or influence your thoughts.
Let’s start this with the simplest rudimentary definition I
could come up with for advertising.
Advertising – a presentation designed in part or whole to
create a predetermined desired response.
Now let me break this down a bit further for you. The presentation of an ad can be in a nearly
endless variety of forms. You can have
newspaper, radio, television, internet, magazine, billboard, word of mouth, direct
mail, and testimonial ads, just to name a few.
Ads are designed to appeal to you on one of two different
levels: emotional or intellectual. Please note, most ads are emotional
with only a very very small percentage going for an intellectual appeal. Of the few that do go for an intellectual
appeal, most of those ads are still driving you for an emotional response.
You probably have no idea how much research goes into
marketing a product. Demographics,
packaging, color, shape, even down to a product release date all go into the
final mix.
Professional product and ad people along with focus groups,
study, inspect, digest, dissect, analyze, and scrutinize, everything involved
with the product and its collateral just to come up with the perfect winning
combination. The sad part is regardless
of time and money spent there is no sure fire way to guarantee or predict a
winner. There have been times when
companies have spent hundreds of thousands of bucks only to have the ship of
their dreams sink more disastrously than the Titanic. Then there have been those totally
goofy-assed, totally insane ideas that defied all logic only to become million
dollar babies.
Let me name some name of some losers. Before I do let me add this, you may not
recognize some of these because they are losers, but at one time they did
exist. Here goes – Libby’s Fruit Float,
Wine & Dine, Soakee (Bubble bath), Yucca Dew (Shampoo), Waterford
(Cigarette), RCA 8 Track Quadraphonic Player, Bowmar Calculators, 4 Track Tape
Players, Betamax, Laser Disc players, Soybean Hamburger Extender, Polaroid Big
Shot Camera, McDonalds Hula Burger, McDLT, Arch Deluxe, McLean Deluxe, Edsel
(automobile), The Baconeer, PSSSSSST (spray dry shampoo in a can), Action
Detergent, and this list could go on.
Now here are some products that became big winners,
regardless of sensibility – Troll Dolls, Mood Rings, The Pet Rock, Beanie
Babies, Snuggies, just about any Ronco product (Splatter Screen, Pocket
Fisherman, Smokeless Ashtray, etc.), Instant Coffee, Breeze (Detergent), Oxi
Clean, Duz (Detergent), and I’m sure you’ll think of a lot more.
You could spend hours analyzing each of the above winners
and losers to determine what went right or wrong with the product. Actually some would require very little
thought, like PSSSSSST. If I remember
correctly you sprayed it on, rubbed it around, combed your hair and it was
supposed to be clean. Yeah, this works
how??? Oh, I add more crap to my already
dirty hair, comb it and it’s magically cleaned by who?? Houdini??
I saw an ad on TV the other day advertising a flashlight
with a magnet attached. At one point in the ad it claims to be “as bright as
daylight”. Really? I’d love to know how that works.
Oh, when you get that 25 foot “Shrinking Garden Hose”, be
ready to open the box and see a hose that’s only a little more than 8 feet
long. Just add water and expands to 3
times its length. So you just paid
$19.99 + Processing and Handling for an 8 foot garden hose. But wait; add some more money for processing
and handling and we’ll include a second 8 foot garden hose for free. Hell, we may even through in the ‘Old
Brooklyn Lantern’ (you know, with the ‘Authentic Antique Globe’ – Think about
that line of BS), and if you call within the next 10 minutes we may throw in
a ‘Slap Chopper’ plus an AMAZING anywhere light bulb (which is really just
another flashlight because it produces light and is battery operated) and we’ll
also start sending you advertising cards in the mail that are never a standard
size so they stand out and make you want to read them (usually this is reserved
for political hacks trying to get into office so they don’t have to work for a
living), but if you email right this very minute we’ll include a Lint Lizard
which will prevent you from having a ‘DANGEROUS Dryer Vent Fire’ (as opposed to
a non-dangerous dryer vent fire??). Oh,
but remember you must pay additional processing and handling. That used to be called S&H or shipping
and handling until they marked up the shipping so much that consumers were
getting wise to the gimmick. Thus,
change the name and change the game.
So there you have it.
If you want to save money there are only 2 things you need to know:
1 1)
The
difference between a want and a need.
Example – People often want a
new car, but do they really need one? Often the answer is no. Always live
by needs and not wants.
2 2) Keep emotions out of EVERY purchase. When emotions creep in, money
drains out.
