FEE FRENZY

Paying More For The Same Or Less With FEES

or 

Don’t Hate The Airlines For FEES Because Utilities Did It To Us First

 

I remember a time when our phone bill came and it was very simple.  The same basic bill structure was applied to the electric bill, water and sewage, and natural gas.  Back then we didn’t have cable television.  We only had three or four local channels and they were, get this, FREE.  At that time there were some decent programs worth watching, compared to today’s 500 pay channels of mostly overpriced garbage. 

Let’s take a closer look at how things used to be.  Back in the ‘50s and ‘60s a phone bill had a basic service charge, a phone rental charge (You were not allowed to own your own phone at that time.  You were forced into renting one from your service provider.), a monthly fee for having an ‘unlisted’ number (If you wanted it.), and toll calls.  That was the entire bill.   

It looked something like this:

Basic service (4 party line)    $3.00

Phone rental                          $1.00

Non-published number          $ .50

Toll Calls                               $2.00

Total Due                              $6.50

 

Of course, the toll call amount was broken down by each call and would vary month to month but you get the idea.

Here’s how an old fashioned electric bill would read:

Electric Basic Service                            $4.00

600 Kw @ $.01                                      $6.00

Total                                                       $10.00

The gas bills of days gone by mirrored the electric bill, only gas was measured in cubic feet or cubic yards.  All bills back then were very simple.  They didn’t need legalistic disclaimers and threats.  They only had about 3 or at the most 4 lines of charges, a total, and you paid it.  BOOM.  The end.

Now here’s a breakdown of my actual electric bill from last month.  If you are anything short of a master’s degree and knowing acronyms, you’ll have trouble figuring this out.  Most of what you what you will read below is the result of bureaucracy craziness.

                                                              923.00 KWH x .0500500      46.22

                                                               30.00 KWH   x .3292000       9.88

                                                                119.00 KWH x .0714500      8.50

Deferred Energy Adjustment              1072.00 KWH x 0052000CR    5.58 CR

Temp Green Power Financing (TRED)   1072 KWH x .0007100          .76

Renewable Energy Program    (REPR)   1072 KWH x .0018000        1.92

Energy Efficiency (EE) Charge               1072 KWH x.0033600           3.60

Basic Service Charge                                                                          11.30

Local Government Fee  5%                                                                  3.83

Universal Energy Charge                       1072 KWH x .0003900            .42

Total Electric Service Amount                                                             80.85

My water bill has 7 line items, including these gems – SNWA Commodity charge of 1.12, SNWA Infrastructure 4.83, and add to that an SNWA Reliability Surcharge of a nickel.

My gas bill, with 6 line items, has a Universal Energy Charge, Delivery Charge, and a REP Rate.

My phone bill has 12 lines of fees, of which 4 are listed as taxes.  I also have the honor of paying a Nevada State Telecommunications Relay Service Surcharge, a Nevada Universal Service Fund Surcharge, and a Universal Service Fund Surcharge.  

Admittedly, I don’t know what most of that crap means, but I DO KNOW what it is.  These are simply backdoor ways of raising taxes and revenue without the open ended appearance of raising rates. 

I know one of them is a fee to help poor people pay their bill.  REALLY?  Then, after that built-in fee that I never agreed to, the utility company has the gonads to ask me if I want to pay extra to help the less fortunate.  That’s a ball buster.  It’s already added in as a fee and then they ask me to volunteer to give more.  

SO NOW NEARLY EVERY BUSINESS IS ON THE FEE BANDWAGON

I noticed today on the side of a cab, in addition to the standard rate, there is a $2 fee for a trip to the airport and a $3 charge is added if you use plastic to pay.

Coming soon to a bank near you a fee for add on fees.

The airlines got fee crazy late in the game so they are just making up for lost time.  More leg room costs you more, checked bags are gonna cost you, food and beverage are extras, headphones – pony up some extra jing, and on and on ad nauseum.  At least on the plane vomit bags and toilets are still free.   

Whoops, me thinks I just gave ‘em an idea for 2 new fees.

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